Good morning! It is a truly beautiful spring morning here, however I am finding myself a little annoyed, concerned and/or worried… I am sitting at a Starbucks sipping my morning. This isn’t the norm for me, so it’s a bit of a treat to be honest 🙂 For work/client appointment reasons I spent the night at my son’s place last night – very cool I think (he’s only 23), but that’s a separate post all together.
Let’s be honest, one of the greatest things about spending a morning sitting at a local Starbucks is the people watching. But what I saw this morning, I have seen too many times and I don’t like it. A young mom with her 6-7 year old son come in and purchase whatever. They sit down at the table in front of me to enjoy their food and drink. The boy tries to talk to his mom, but she is clearly distracted because she is on her phone, posting on instagram a picture of her son, accompanied with a caption that likely reads something like this: “enjoying my coffee with this little handsome dude”
I think you know where I am going with this; instead of taking and posting pictures of your supposed quality time with him, why not just put your phone down and truly spend your time with him.
Don’t get me wrong, my phone is always with me. I get it. They are adorable and we want to share, brag, whatever. So, take the picture, put your phone down and post later when he is not with you. But give him your time. There is no television or computer to distract him. No toys or friends. Just you two. As a mother of 4 grown boys who now come and visit, but no longer live with me – this time is precious. More than anything, I miss the daily, small conversations we used to have. I miss my little boys.
I just told a mom the other day that I am so grateful for that cellphones were not a thing when mine were growing up. I am not sure that I would have been any different than the mom I saw today, or the mom I saw a couple of days ago who was walking her daughter home from school. The little girl was talking to her mom non stop, sharing her day at school with her. The mom was sort of listening and nodding while constantly on her phone. I know from my boys that you get one chance to hear about school that day and that is when they volunteer it. Later on, they don’t seem to remember a thing, as frustrating as that is.
We all know that our obsession with our phones and being in constant contact with everyone is interfering with every close relationship we have with our friends, families, spouses etc. For some reason we do not see the value in giving people our full, undivided attention any more. What message are we sending to these little kids? That whatever is on the phone is more interesting? That they aren’t worthy of our full attention? How would you feel being on the receiving end of that? Or, realistically I am sure it already happens to you with your older kids, husbands, friends. Annoying right! Our kids deserve to have us fully as do all our loved ones.
So, from one flawed mom to another… please please put your phones down and simply enjoy the special alone moments with your little ones. Trust me, you will remember it without the picture. I do.